Monday, August 10, 2015

Sometimes the grass isn't always greener...

Okay, so school started some time ago, but this year has had its ups and downs. My darling 15 year old decided that this year was the year that she wanted to brave the public school system again. At first I was shocked because this is the child that HATED public school with a passion. She has terrified her little brothers with stories of her trauma in kindergarten and first grade for years. Suddenly she wanted to try it again. We had lots of family discussions, prayers and research, and we ultimately decided that it is her life and she should have a say. All of this was complicated by the fact that I had already purchased all of her VERY expensive curriculum for homeschool. So, we enrolled her in our local high school. It doesn't hurt that we just so happen to live in the best school district in the area. Awesome school which is new and geared toward all things artistic. My sweet girl thought she'd found her happy place. We spent several weeks buying an extensive new school wardrobe, new highly expensive backpack, a phone and phone plan, and lots of miscellaneous school supplies. She even practiced wearing makeup with her cousin, because she really isn't into makeup, but most 9th graders are. We went to orientation, met her teachers, toured the school and she was so incredibly excited. She couldn't wait until her first day! Here she is heading off to school that first morning with high hopes for this new venture in her life.
I dropped her off and cried the whole way home. The hours ticked by that day. It was so quiet at our house without her here! I sat in the school pick up line for almost an hour to make sure she didn't have to wait long to be picked up. As soon as I saw her face I knew something was wrong. Her first words to me were "get me out of here". She said she just didn't fit in and hated it. I did my best to calm her down and find out the root of the problem. Having been homeschooled for the past 7 years, I fully expected that this wasn't going to be easy. I reminded her that this was something she really wanted to do. She begged me not to make her go back. Being the mean mom that I am, I told her she had to go back. You can't make a major decision in just one day. So...she went back the next day. She wasn't in tears that day, but she didn't like it any better. We went to the football game that Friday and cheered for her team. They won! I thought maybe things would get better. They didn't. She suffered through two weeks of school before I finally gave in to her pleading. I removed her from school with a somewhat heavy heart. Not sure if I was making the right decision. Again, we didn't make this decision lightly. We prayed and prayed for guidance. Thankfully I hadn't returned her curriculum so we were able to just jump right in. She has been much better since we let her come back home. She is now satisfied that this is the right decision for her. I'm terrified and feel like I'm back in kindergarten starting out our homeschool journey, but that's a whole other post.